I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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