so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize