I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your penis caused this!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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