You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
