I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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