At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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