D3 body, D1 cock
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Pants are for mortals
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
