I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
