47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
