he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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