marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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