this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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