i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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