Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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