I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
