how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
