I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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