id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize