no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
pray to the hookup gods
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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