so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
