If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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