well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
