I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
