If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
