how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
