I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
