you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
