I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
