Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize