so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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