May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This is the prime rib incident all over again
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
