I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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