No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
