the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize