just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
