So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize