is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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