Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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