She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
