Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
