You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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