I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
