My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
