The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
