I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
