so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
