suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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