marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
