Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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