We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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