ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
