you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pants are for mortals
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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