And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
