She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
