Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
