If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
