I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
