I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
