Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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