My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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