So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
