Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
