Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
